Let's Talk Fundraising
Welcome to "Let's Talk Fundraising" with Keith Greer, CFRE! This podcast is your go-to resource for mastering the essentials of fundraising while discovering how innovative tools and technology can supercharge your efforts. Whether you're a new fundraiser looking to level up your skills or a seasoned professional seeking timely reminders and fresh insights, each episode is packed with practical advice, creative ideas, and inspiring stories.
Join Keith as he explores the core principles that drive successful fundraising and uncovers the latest strategies to make your job easier, more enjoyable, and incredibly impactful. From relationship-building and storytelling to leveraging the newest tech, "Let's Talk Fundraising" is here to help you transform your approach and achieve remarkable results for your organization.
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Let's Talk Fundraising
Quiet Power: The Introvert's Guide to Fundraising Success
When you picture a successful fundraiser, do you imagine someone who commands the room, speaks eloquently without hesitation, and thrives in crowds of donors? That stereotype has dominated our field for decades—but what if the most powerful fundraising superpower isn't being heard, but truly hearing others?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE and advancement officer at Simon Fraser University, challenges this outdated notion through her remarkable career journey. Recognized as a Top 30 Under 30 by BC Business and Woman of the Year rising star, she's built meaningful donor relationships not by dominating conversations, but through the quiet strength of deep listening and genuine connection.
This eye-opening conversation explores how fundraising environments often favor extroverts—from rapid-fire brainstorming sessions to expectations around networking—and offers practical strategies for both introverts navigating these spaces and organizations wanting to support them. Discover the critical distinction between introversion and shyness, and why assuming quiet team members can't handle donor relationships might mean you're overlooking your most effective relationship builders.
Carissa shares powerful examples of how listening transformed challenging donor interactions, built lasting trust, and ultimately secured significant gifts. For introverted fundraisers who've wondered if they belong in this field, her message resonates with validating clarity: your quieter approach isn't just valid—it might be exactly what today's donors are seeking.
Whether you identify as an introvert seeking strategies, an extrovert wanting to better support colleagues, or a leader building a balanced team, this conversation offers invaluable insights about embracing diverse fundraising styles. Connect with Carissa on LinkedIn to continue this important conversation about making space for all voices in our profession.
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Hey, there, hi, and welcome back ambitious fundraisers. Today we're diving into a topic that doesn't always get the spotlight in our sector fundraising as an introvert. Now, if you've ever felt like this field was built for the boldest voices in the room, you're not alone. But here's the thing Some of the most powerful fundraisers, the ones who build the deepest donor relationships, who truly listen and connect, are introverts. Our guest today is someone who knows this firsthand. She's built a successful career not by being the loudest in the room, but by embracing the strengths that come with being a quieter, more thoughtful presence. A quieter, more thoughtful presence. She's here to share how introverts can thrive in fundraising, lead effectively and redefine what success looks like.
Keith Greer, CFRE:So let's talk fundraising. I'm excited to welcome my friend, carissa Konesky. Carissa is a CFRE and is an advancement officer for the leadership giving team at Simon Fraser University in British Columbia, canada. With a background in gender studies, psychology and nonprofit management, she spent her career building meaningful donor relationships. She's been recognized as a top 30 under 30 by BC Business and a Woman of the Year rising star Beyond fundraising. She's a dedicated girl guide and a passionate advocate for making space for introverted professionals in our field. Carissa, welcome to let's Talk Fundraising. I'm so excited to have this conversation with you.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, Hi Keith. Thank you so much. I'm so excited to be here.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Now, Carissa, you've described introversion as a superpower in fundraising. Can you share a moment in your career when being an introvert gave you that real advantage?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, that's such a good question. As an introvert, one quality that I really have is building relationships and kind of being like a peacekeeper and trying to, you know, just build that trust between donors. And in a previous job that I had, our department was the one that got all of the kind of incoming calls in the general donor inquiries that would come in. And the inquiries we got were very everyday, so it could be anything from donors being upset that they didn't get their tax receipt to like due to the nature of the work that we were doing, there was a lot of really strong opinions about the way that we were running our programs and how we should be running our programs. So we'd get a lot of like inquiries about that.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:And as I was, you know, taking these phone calls, which at first made me really nervous because having those incoming calls come in you really don't know what you're going to get but I found that I got really good at de-escalating these phone calls really quickly because I realized that the thing that most people wanted was just to be like listened to and understood and it really didn't matter like what actions we took or like we weren't going to change our programs, because we really believed in the programs we were running.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:But they really just wanted us to like. They really wanted to feel like we were valuing their opinions and the fact that they were calling in the first place showed that they cared. So I realized that most people just really wanted to be listened to, and a lot of people these days don't really get the opportunity to be listened to. So I think having the ability to be such a deep listener and give people that space to share their concerns really helps me build a lot of trust with my donors and even though I have quite a different job now, it really has. I've been able to use those skills in similar ways, either when hearing donor concerns or building that trust. It's just been really transferable and it was really a surprise to me to think managing those donor inquiries and everything that me being an introvert was actually what helped me the most through that.
Keith Greer, CFRE:I love what you're saying about getting those phone calls and having them just be kind of whatever happens.
Keith Greer, CFRE:But really, at the heart of it, it was listening to people de-escalating the situations and I've talked about it on the podcast before One of the things that I learned when I was working at Disney because that skill, as an extrovert, is not necessarily one that comes quickly and easily to me.
Keith Greer, CFRE:So it was a skill I had to learn. But they talked about at Disney making the relationships last and how did you do that? And it was the L-A-S-T listen, apologize, solve and think. And so it's really about making sure that people felt like they were heard, making sure that they were valued and letting them know that you're actually truly sorry for their experience, solving it quickly and thanking them for bringing it to your attention, and so that's probably something that you, as an introvert, do much more naturally than I do, because I want to jump right past the listening and past the apologizing and just getting to solving and faking it, and that's a like just no, you got to last. It can't just be the at the end of it. But you've written also about how leadership isn't about who speaks the loudest or the most often. From your perspective, what are the most valuable leadership traits in fundraising?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, first of all, I really appreciate you mentioning that listening is a hard skill, because a lot of times I think that it's not really thought of as even a skill. Like listening is just something that we would do naturally, whereas something like public speaking or being able to kind of talk to a room would be a lot more valued. But active listening is really hard and it's a really hard skill. And, like you mentioned, how many times do we listen to people just to respond rather than actually like hearing what they say? So I really do think that, while good leaders come in so many different forms, the best leaders and the best supervisors that I have had have been the ones who have actually taken the time to listen.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:And I think that that's especially important in fundraising, because it is a really difficult job and it's not like a one size fits all kind of job where there's one way to do your job, there's so many different circumstances, there's so many different personalities and really no situation and no donor is the same. So I think that having a leader who really listens to the perspective of their fundraisers, offering the advice, but also having the empathy and understanding everything that comes with the toughness of the job. Those have been the leaders that I have found really valuable, and also the leaders that I've found really valuable and also the leaders that I've found really hard to find. I find that when you have a supervisor that will really listen and really empathize and be open to hearing feedback from their employees, that's just not something that you find in every leader and I really appreciate having that skill being valued. Oh, it's absolutely a valued skill and it's one that I know I have.
Keith Greer, CFRE:That skill being valued. Oh, it's absolutely a valued skill and it's one that I know I have to work on constantly, so I'm jealous that it comes naturally to introverts like you and as one of your core strengths. Can you share a time when truly listening to a donor made a lasting impact really on your relationship with them.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, actually, this happened a couple of months ago. So I had reached out to meet with a donor for coffee, and he was a longtime donor of SFU but he had recently been assigned to my portfolio, so it was the first time that I had met with him and the coffee ended up being over an hour and a half and I would say he actually ended up doing most of the talking. And I'm not saying that this is the right way to be a fundraiser, but this is my style of being a fundraiser. That's really worked for me. I don't go trying to, you know, sell a donor something or wanting to like close a gift agreement right away, but rather I just want to listen and learn and understand, like, where their interest in giving and what their passion is.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:So he did come to me with like some concerns, as well as a lot of background about why he gives to the programs that he does. But I learned a lot and it was actually like a really great experience. Even though he did have those concerns, you could tell that he was just really passionate about giving to SFU and he really wanted SFU to be the best that it could be. And then, after the meeting he sent me an email and he said I really don't know like what I expected from this meeting, but I felt so listened to and like my opinion was so valued and I was really pleasantly surprised. And that email was amazing to receive. But it also really kind of blew my mind. I was like, hmm, maybe there is a method to this kind of madness and maybe people do need to be listened to more and that is a really important skill in fundraising.
Keith Greer, CFRE:That's really beautiful, that you are able to listen to him and validate his concerns. And in the next message you got from him, he validated your approach, and that's such a wonderful gift to be able to have and to really take the time to listen to what his heart was saying, even if the words weren't there yet.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, exactly. Yeah, it really kind of shows the impact that even just being a listening ear can be to somebody.
Keith Greer, CFRE:And I really appreciate that you're saying don't sell it right away, because I think so many of us measure our successes by, or take even our metrics not even the successes, but take our metrics based on the quantity rather than on the quality, because it is such an identifiable, tangible thing to measure quantity instead of the depth and the impact of that conversation, and so many fundraising teams measure their event successes by how many conversations they have in a night. How do you think we should really be defining that success, especially for maybe introverted fundraisers?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, I think it's really a matter of kind of quality over quantity, and I know a lot of us fundraisers. We want to reach as many donors or prospective donors as we can, especially when we have those opportunities to be like front facing and talk to somebody in person, and that's totally great and important. And we all have our quantitative fundraising goals that we need to reach that are a lot easier to, you know, demonstrate to our workplace that we're reaching. But when I go to a donor event or an event that SFU is putting on, I love to spend more time with just a few donors and though I maybe haven't talked to as many donors as some of my other fellow fundraisers have, I have always come away with some really strong relationships.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:And one thing that I found really helpful has been being able to remember those kind of like little things that donors mention. So, for example, if I'm talking to a donor and they're like, oh, my son's birthday is next week and we're planning this party, then I can remember that and the next week be like oh, I'm so glad to, I was so glad to meet you and I really hope your son's birthday went well. So even those little things show that you really care and are really listening to them and then just yeah, taking the time to show donors that you care and build those lasting relationships. It's really paid off for me this year and I've actually managed to close some pretty big donor deals, but it is really a matter of patience and taking the time to really build that trust in those relationships.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Oh, patience. I wish I had more of them.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Honestly me too, even still.
Keith Greer, CFRE:But paying attention to the details is really important. I think that's another area where introverts really kind of take the cake, like they know how to focus in on those details and make people really feel cared about. But you've also pointed out that many workplaces are set up to favor extroverts. What are small but meaningful changes that organizations can make to help introverted team members really thrive?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, there's so many ways that introverts can thrive in a workplace and it doesn't really take that much effort to make it happen. It's just these little changes that you don't really even think about until someone mentions it or somebody points it out. I think one thing that really helped me was the move to hybrid work, and I understand that not everyone can do that or if that's accessible to everyone, but for me it's really allowed me to balance, like the me time to kind of recharge and then also my time to still be able to connect with my donors and my fellow employees. That's been really important to me. One thing that I found I've really struggled with as an introvert has been the way that like group brainstorm sessions or like strategic sessions with workplaces are often set up so a lot of people will think out loud, so like brainstorm out loud and want to bounce ideas off one another. But for me, I know that I need the time to process those things in my head. So if somebody asks me a question, I need a few minutes to kind of think it through and really think about what I want to say, which is great. But oftentimes in those brainstorming sessions they move so quickly. By the time I'm like I have an idea, I'm ready to share it. Everyone has moved on to the next idea. So something that's been really helpful for me is either being sent the questions in advance so I have time to like pre-brainstorm those ideas or make some notes on those ideas either that, or like sending out an agenda ahead of time and letting people actually take the notes ahead of time. My fundraising team does that now as well, so I have those talking points when we're doing our check-ins already and I don't really need the time to pre-think about it.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Another thing I really recommend is being okay with silence during meetings or group discussions. When somebody asks a question out loud and a lot of people have had their turn to speak and you know that some people in the group still haven't spoken, being okay with having that silence, even though it can be really uncomfortable. That gives the introverts a moment to think and also to speak without feeling like they have to talk over maybe some of the louder voices in the group. That has been really helpful. Another thing that I found really helpful and this can be with either Zoom meetings or online meetings or in-person meetings would be asking people to raise their hands before they talk. When you have those kind of popcorn style brainstorming meetings, I personally and this is definitely not everybody, but for me I find it difficult to cut in or I get nervous about having to talk over somebody. I get nervous about having to talk over somebody. So even the method of like having people raise their hand and the group facilitator calling on people, that can help make the conversation a lot more comfortable.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:And then, finally, just recognizing if people need their space, especially during lunch hour. I used to work in an organization where the expectation was that everyone would go down to the cafeteria to eat lunch together, because it was thought to be like staff bonding, which is great and a lot of people loved it. But for me it was so hard because I really needed that hour or so to really recharge. And you know, go for a walk, get some fresh air and just get my thoughts back together. So I think just understanding that people recharge differently.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Outside of fundraising, I also volunteer a lot with Girl Guides, which is our Canadian version of Girl Scouts, and we're noticing that a lot more with the teens I work with. Some of them will just be sitting off in the corner and at first we were worried that they weren't feeling included or they were upset, but we realized they really just needed some space away from all of. We have 18 girls so it's a lot of noise and sometimes they just need space. And one fellow Girl Guy leader she said to me is it bothering them or is it bothering you? And I realized that even though I am an introvert, I still felt bad about the people who needed to step aside and recharge. So just kind of recognizing that that looks a little bit differently for everyone.
Keith Greer, CFRE:I think those are some amazing tips. A couple questions, and so we're just going to kind of go through them a little bit, one by one. But when you're talking about observing that people are getting to take some space and you got the feedback of is it something that's bothering you or is it something that's bothering them, do you go and do you check in with the people who are taking space or do you just kind of assume that they're taking space because they need it? What's the best way to approach that? What's the best way to approach that?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, that's a good question. I think if it's somebody that you know is an introvert and does need that space, I would say that it's safe to assume that that's what they're doing and that's what they're needing right now, and maybe giving them some time to recharge and if they do need some help or need someone to talk, to letting them approach you in that moment. Especially with adults, I think that it's okay to kind of assume that they'll be able to tell you what they need. When I work with kids, we definitely do check in a little bit more with them just to make sure that nothing's wrong. But also I found that they do prefer us. Once we do that one time and we understand more like what they need. They do prefer them either coming to us or us more so ignoring it rather than coming to them and drawing attention to them doing that.
Keith Greer, CFRE:I really like that initial check-in on somebody that you might not know very well and maybe just having the conversation to say, hey, if I look at you and you just want some space, give me a thumbs up or whatever. It is just so I know you're okay and if you're having some trouble, just give me a thumbs down or something, and then I know to come, come help you or something along those lines. But also with raising your hands, I can imagine that Zoom has been kind of a blessing in disguise with that, because it's kind of a best practice, because it's it's so much easier for things to go chaotic and out of control over Zoom when people are jumping in on top of each other, but having that raise hand feature must be super helpful. Do you also implement that in your in person meetings as well?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:First of all, zoom has been such a good blessing in disguise. I know there's been a lot of growing pains and we're still trying to figure out technology, like five years after we first started using it. But not only is the hand raising great, the chat feature is also great. I've found sometimes if I'm in a bigger meeting with a hundred people and I don't feel comfortable raising my hand in that moment, even just typing in the chat is a lot less scary for me, and then if the facilitator raises the question or points out what I said, then I still feel like my voice has been heard and I don't have to talk over all the people in the room. So that's been really great, I think.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:In terms of doing it in person, sometimes we'll do things where, like, we'll each be given a minute to say our opinion, which has been really helpful because on my fundraising team we do have a lot of different personalities and we found before we were doing that, just because of the nature of everything, that meant that a few people were really dominating those conversations. So I think you know giving people that minute and saying like oh, thank you so much for contributing. Let's see if somebody else has something to contribute. It really like evens the playing field and by doing that to the introverts in the room don't feel like they need to compete or be a louder voice. It kind of just evens it out a bit more.
Keith Greer, CFRE:That's really great, and the last question I had from all of your tips is talking about being okay with the silence during the meetings or the group discussions, and maybe it's not so much as a question, but it's something that I remember one of my leaders talking to me about years ago and they said after you ask a question, count to 10 seconds in your head before you start calling on people and asking them, and it gives people a chance to kind of get their thoughts out, have them collected and formulate something semi-coherent before they start to speak on it. Is that something that you're fully advocating for as well?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Just taking that 10 seconds of silence and really going with the awkwardness of it, but it is super important. I've also facilitated some workshops and I do understand the urge to fill that silence because that's just not something that you know people like. But I do highly advocate for that and I think the 10 seconds is a good rule and that does give other people time to like, think and contribute and stuff. And I would also encourage, even if you're not the facilitator, if you're somebody who does tend to be a more dominant person in conversations, giving yourself that 10 seconds as well, rather than trying to fill the silence all the time and letting someone else speak.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Okay, great. So not just on the facilitator side, but on the participant side too.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Absolutely yeah, and I don't think people mean any harm by this at all, and it is often people just wanting to avoid that awkward silence or not wanting quieter people to feel uncomfortable. But I do think it is really important to do that, but it is hard. I do recognize that.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Yeah, because I think that so many people think that the quiet people are shy. They assume that introversion and shyness are the exact same thing. How do you explain the difference and why does that distinction matter so much for fundraisers?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:That is a great question and it is so true. I hear these words put together all the time, like that person is so shy and quiet. But those two things are not the same and of course you can be shy and quiet, but they don't necessarily go hand in hand all the time. I know people who talk a lot who would consider themselves shy.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Hello that would be me.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Exactly and you would never think so. It's just people show up in so many different ways and introversion and extroversion really just refers to how you get your energy. As introverts, we get our recharge energy by being alone and the extroverts get their energy by being with other people. And it does not mean that introverts are scared to talk to people or hesitant to talk to people. I actually don't consider myself to be a shy person at all.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:I've gone on multiple like group trips across like Canada and the USA, having not known anyone, and I've still made lots of friends.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:So I think this is really important for fundraisers, especially because there's always an assumption that if someone is not a very talkative person and they're shy, they might be too shy to go on a donor meeting or they might not be ready to be able to have those conversations with donors. So I think that it is really important to understand the difference between those two. I also think it's important not to make comments about that. I have had so many comments made towards me throughout my career and I know that those comments don't mean harm, but they do make me feel really shrugged off. So last year I ended up getting the big award from BC Business and one of my colleagues was said what I can't believe it Like you, quiet Carissa, so they didn't mean harm, but it does make me feel like my personality and my skill set does not set me up for success in the way that others are, especially in fundraising and leadership, where I want to be.
Keith Greer, CFRE:I think what you're talking about with introversion and shyness is a really important note, because, well, I would definitely consider myself an extrovert. There are moments when I can be very shy, and for me the shyness comes in more with large groups and it comes in when I feel very out of place with it right, whereas one-on-one I can talk to anybody about anything. You want to put me in a room with Oprah Winfrey or Bill Gates or Hannibal Lecter I can make a conversation with any of them, but put me into a room filled with people like that and it becomes very overwhelming and I am definitely a wallflower in those moments. And so that kind of gets to networking events and big galas and how they can be so draining even for extroverts. How do you personally balance that meaningful donor engagement with preserving your energy?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, I'm so glad that you mentioned that, keith, because I do believe that introversion and extroversion is a spectrum. I don't think that anyone is 100% introverted and wants to be by themselves all the time, and I also don't believe that anyone wants to be with people 100% of the time and never wants their own time. So I think it's a really good point that it sometimes shows up differently. I know for me, the networking events and the big galas is when I feel the most like an introvert. So the way that I kind of manage it is I try to break it down into smaller goals. So, rather than looking at that big room of donors or that big room of people and thinking that I need to talk to the whole room, just prioritizing what one or two donors do I really want to talk to and build a further relationship with tonight, and breaking it down so that I just focus on that and focus on getting to know those one or two people. Because, like you mentioned, I'm the same way. I can talk to anybody one-on-one and I have no problem with that and I get to know people really well. But as soon as I'm with a group of like 10 people, I'll definitely take more of a step back. So being able to kind of like find those one-on-one conversations, even in such a big group, has been really helpful to me. And even if, like, more people join the conversation as we go or they bring in more people for me to meet, like that's awesome, but it's way less overwhelming than feeling like I have to make conversation with everybody all at once in the like two hours that the event is going to be. And I also just want to say like let's normalize, like needing to take a few minutes. I know that I put so much pressure on myself at these events that I need to make the most of the two hours and I need my supervisor to see me talking to donors all night long, but I think it's okay.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Just to you know, either go to the washroom and just like take a recharge for a few minutes and let yourself absorb the information, or even just like taking a few minutes and let yourself absorb the information, or even just like taking a few minutes to talk, even with a coworker. I know that I have my. One of my best friends is my coworker and I feel really comfortable with her. So even just like having the chance to like debrief and talk with her for a few minutes. I find that that really recharges me and makes me ready to have that next conversation. So that can be really helpful, and also even like dragging that coworker into a conversation or a different coworker as well. That way you can kind of like bounce off each other during your conversations or help one another out when one's like fading and their energy is fading. That's also been really helpful for me.
Keith Greer, CFRE:I really enjoyed what you were saying about introversion and extroversion being on that spectrum and how that shows up for you, because for me it shows up similarly but a little bit different, where, if it's a donor event I don't know what it is but I can be full on extrovert, knowing that that's my job.
Keith Greer, CFRE:It's almost become like a performance for me and it's like get out there and shine your light, whereas with networking that one hits differently for me and it becomes much more personal and much more vulnerable and I become much shyer in those. So I've had to develop some strategies and some life hacks, so to speak, in order to get through those moments. One of the ones that has been so valuable for me going to those networking events is to show up early, like before everybody else, unfashionably early and go and find the very best table in the entire room and sit there and claim that, because then everybody has to come to you and ask for permission to join your table and then they're having to introduce themselves to you rather than me having to go and try and introduce myself to a group of strangers that I don't really know. So I wonder, is there any other kind of life hacks like that that you might have found that have really helped you kind of navigate those waters.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, I remember you mentioning that and I haven't had the chance to try that out, but I'm definitely going to, because I'm totally the opposite I want to have like the least amount of time at a networking event, so I'll arrive right on the hour. But you're right, I do end up having to approach people that way. So I'm definitely going to try it your way the next time as well.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:I think for me, if you have like either a colleague or somebody that you know, either like finding that person in the room and not necessarily staying with them the whole night, but using them as a way, like I mentioned before, to bounce off conversations or having them introduce you to some people and really just kind of being an icebreaker.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:But I've also found that that's kind of gone both ways because, depending on who the colleague is, if they're a more talkative person than me, sometimes they'll end up dominating the whole conversation as well. So, if it is something that you do feel comfortable with, I do highly recommend trying to go to a networking event yourself. If you don't have that person that you think you can kind of be yourself with and be comfortable speaking around, and, yeah, like, even though it is personal, just kind of remembering you don't have to be anybody but yourself, and I think that that's something that I'm still learning, because I do feel a lot of pressure to perform in a certain way and talk a certain amount that I don't necessarily like feel that is authentic to me in these situations, because I feel like you know, a networker and a fundraiser is supposed to look a certain way.
Keith Greer, CFRE:So I think just knowing that it's okay to show up like how you feel is right for you, yeah, I really like the tip about bringing somebody that you can introduce or that can be introduced, because that's another one of my hacks that I found is being that person who introduces people Even if you don't know the people that you're introducing. You kind of automatically take more of an authority role within those relationships and so it becomes almost like you're the master of ceremonies within this conversation and it just makes it a very different experience. So I really like that.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, and I think that's such a big skill too. I know a few people who are really really good connectors and that's amazing. Like I was at a networking event with somebody that I know through volunteering and she got me talking to like a lawyer and all these people who I never thought I'd be talking to. So even that in themselves like knowing someone like that is very helpful.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Absolutely, and I'm curious have you noticed that certain donor personalities respond better really to that introverted approach to fundraising, and how should that shape the way organizations train their teams?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:I don't think that there's necessarily a one size fits all to this, but I've often found that myself and some of my fellow introverted colleagues are really good at working with donors who might require that little bit of extra attention or care Either a donor who has very specific questions or very specific desires of how we use their gift, or those that maybe have required a little bit of a longer time to close the gift agreement. Or for us at SFU, we'll write a terms of reference to new awards or scholarships that get donated to. So I found that I'm really good at those situations, again because I'm able to listen and also mediate with them if there isn't something, if they have a request, that isn't something that is possible for us to do. I find that the way that I'm able to relay that to the donor is pretty empathetic, and because I've learned so much about them and why they're giving, I'm kind of able to pivot it in a different way or in a different light. So that's been really helpful, and I'm not sure if this is solely an introverted quality, but I find that my patience has been really helpful too. I've had gifts that have taken more than a year for me to close but, just like continuously having that dialogue with the donors has helped me eventually close those gifts as well.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:I think, in terms of how organizations train their team, I think the biggest thing is to understand that good fundraisers come in different forms and again, there's really not a one size fits all situation. I have believed for a really long time that I couldn't be a leader or I couldn't be a supervisor because of my certain you know demeanor or the way that I communicate. Even this is outside of work. But again, with Girl Guides that I volunteer with, I had applied I think this was six or seven years ago now. I had applied to be the chair of a committee that I'd given three years of my time and I had proven my dedication and I'd planned these really large events.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:And I remember reading an email from someone saying that I was super enthusiastic and hardworking but that I'm soft spoken and that I could be stepped on and that was such a big assumption because I've had so many instances before where I've had to stand up for myself in the workplace and in other areas of my life and I have not been stepped on. So there was that assumption that I wasn't capable of taking on that role just because I was a quieter person. So I think that teams really need to make assumptions or not make assumptions about people's leadership abilities based on how much they talk and when you are like looking for who to promote or like who to take on a supervisor role, not just automatically choosing like who the loudest or who the strongest spoken person is, because well, of course they can be good supervisors, it doesn't automatically mean they're going to be the best supervisor based on that.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Right. And so when you're getting that kind of feedback about different leadership styles and fundraising styles and it's not necessarily resonating with who you are can you share a time when your quieter strengths, like empathy or attention to detail, were truly valued and acknowledged?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:I think the first time that I kind of had a aha moment about all these biases that I'd had felt about myself, I was taking an emerging leaders program. We have like a really awesome organization here in Vancouver that specifically works to help train womanidentified colleagues into leadership positions. So as part of that program we took the CliftonStrengths test and now I've taken it a few times, but this was the first time that I'd taken it and I'm not sure how many people have taken it. But the test tells you what your top strengths are in four different categories and, not surprisingly, I scored mostly in the relationship building categories, categories which are often, the more you know, soft spoken, and not in the spotlight categories. And then, as we were debriefing what we kind of found our results were and what our leadership styles were, I had this like what our leadership styles were.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:I had this like light bulb moment, a feeling that my skills of being a relator or very empathetic were not as valued in the leadership spaces that I were part of as somebody who was an activator or who was a really good public speaker. And that does make sense to me. I think that skills like you know, listening and building harmony are not easily noticed compared to being a really good public speaker, and I've never had anything on my work evaluation saying that I'm great at listening to donors or anything like that. But I just remember when everyone else was nodding when I said that I didn't feel as valued in my leadership abilities because of those skills that I had, and then the facilitator also being like, yes, like you hit the nail on the head. That's when I finally felt validated and like a lot of things really made sense.
Keith Greer, CFRE:You might not know this yet, but you are an amazing public speaker. But you are an amazing public speaker and even though we're recording this before our Icon session, which was just a few days ago by the time that this airs, I have full confidence in you. I think you're going to be absolutely amazing, and so I want to invite anybody that attended our session at Icon to connect with Carissa on LinkedIn. We'll put her profile in the show notes and just tell her what an amazing job she did, because I know she's going to knock it out of the park and it's weird talking about the future in the past tense, but that's where we are, because I know you're going to be amazing.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Thank you, keith. I really, really appreciate it and I think you're such a great example of how important it is to really uplift people and focus on people's strength and encourage people to do what they want to do, and I really appreciate all the encouragement that you've given me. It's really helped me so much.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Well, it's not so much as encouragement as just recognizing what an amazing person you are, because you're pretty dang phenomenal, I must say. But thank you for my compliments too. For our last question, because I know we're getting close on our time. For introverts who are just starting their fundraising careers, what's the one piece of advice you wish someone had given you when you were starting out?
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:You know, I've often wondered why I'm so passionate about fundraising and why I love it so much when I identify as an introvert.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:But then I realized that fundraising is really all about building relationships, and building relationships does not mean being the loudest person in the room or being the one who talks the most, and I really want my fellow introverted, like fundraisers, to know that they belong in fundraising and leadership spaces. I know, keith, we actually met through attending the AFP Leadership Institute and before I attended I actually got worried about whether I was going to be too quiet or even if, like AFP would regret accepting me into the program just because I wasn't, you know, as talkative as some of like the other people that I knew were going to be in that space. So I just really wanted to give the reinsurance that leadership and fundraising shows up in so many different ways and there really isn't a right or wrong way to do that. And then, finally, introverts bring amazing skills and they're just as valuable as other skills and you belong as a fundraiser just as much as anyone else.
Keith Greer, CFRE:So true, and I want to say just a little bit about my reflections on the AFP Leadership Institute. And it was really impressive to me the way that we brought in so many people who are very strong extroverts and people who are very strong introverts and the way that they were able to navigate a week together and how some of those voices definitely took prominence in the beginning of the week, but by the midpoint of the week and the end of the week some of those people were getting worn out from having to carry the conversation and that's when introverts were really able to step up. I think that they got to the point where they felt comfortable with the people that they were surrounded by and a part of. They knew that their voices would be respected and appreciated and heard and you didn't shy away from that. You were an incredible contributor and, along with everybody else, it was such an amazing experience and I hope that AFP gets to continue the Leadership Institute because it was really an incredible experience.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, it was really like nothing else that I've ever attended, and the whole reason they put that together is to have a place for fundraisers to become leaders, and I just don't think that that resource has been available before. So I agree, and I also think it was really valuable the way that they set it up so that both the extroverts and the introverts could contribute. I know, at the beginning, when we came up with the rules for how we were all going to communicate together, I literally said, like we need to give space to the introverts and like let them talk as well, and our facilitators were so good at, you know, making that space or realizing, maybe, when some other voices might want to contribute to the conversation as well.
Keith Greer, CFRE:And being able to draw those voices out too.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Exactly. Yeah, no, it was amazing and I was actually quite surprised at how comfortable I was contributing, especially in a room full of 24 people that you did not know at all before the week began 24 intimidating people because they're all doing amazing things. I know I can't believe how many remarkable, accomplished people were in one room that week.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Yeah, it was special, and I'm so glad that we get to continue these relationships afterwards, because they're really important to me and I think that they're important to you as well, or you wouldn't be here.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, absolutely. They're invaluable, those relationships that you form, and I think that fundraisers, like I mentioned, we do have such a unique job that has so many factors that maybe a lot of other jobs don't have. So being able to talk to people who can relate and share their experience is so valuable.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Well, carissa, thank you so much for being on the podcast and sharing your expertise and your wisdom and your passion about introversion and fundraising and how it really is a superpower, because you have listening skills that I have to work on that come naturally to you. So thank you for being here and thank you for being such an important part of my experience.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, thank you so much for having me, keith. This was so fun and, yeah, I think the most important thing is that introverts and extroverts still have so much to learn from one another and can work really well together and share their skills together, and I'm so excited to see that keep happening.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Absolutely, and if you were able to attend our Icon Session, make sure to give Carissa a follow and tell her what an amazing job she did, because she's a rock star.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Aw, thank you, Keith.
Keith Greer, CFRE:Have a great one. We'll catch you later.
Carissa Konesky, CFRE:Yeah, take care, bye, bye.
